Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Decisions Decisions Decisions

I called in sick today. No, it wasn't a ruse. I really am sick. Well, a bad sore throat and a cough. And considering that a large part of my current job consists me being on the phones, I was in no condition to work.

Then again, I believe that in some part, my illness was a physical manifestation of my present state of mind. A big ol' mess. The last program left a bitter taste. It was frustrating to see my best efforts not bearing fruit, while others in better programs bringing in the deals.

I felt disillusioned. The pretty portraits that were painted to me when I started out here, were starting to fade, revealing the flaws and cracks in the canvas.

There is a silver lining to every cloud, so the saying goes. Taking a day off work has given me the time to re-evaluate my life, my goals, my plans. I know. It sounds like a lot. Trust me. A few months ago, I had a simple goal - survive the year.

I am considering a change of environment. The skills from this line of work can be applied elsewhere, where the material gains are more rewarding and the timetables more flexible. I will think this through carefully, but I know that my mind is already set. I just need to put my plans into motion.